The Convention

Conrad Ecklie was NOT happy. He was eyeing his costume and looking over at his girlfriend with a disgusted look. “You have got to being fucking crazy if you think I’m wearing that. We just will NOT go. You honestly think ANYONE will miss us not being there? No way in hell, Adrienne. No way in hell.”

“Oh you will wear it and like it. You were the one who put off until the last minute to ask ME! It’s not MY fault the costumers had nothing that would fit you. You knew about this MONTHS ago and could have gotten a decent costume, but NNNNNNNO , you wait until the last minute and expect me to make things perfect. Just like always. So shut up, put the damned thing on and let’s go have some fucking fun!” Adrienne was looking in the mirror back at Ecklie with a look that left no room for compromise. He wasn’t moving fast enough, so Adrienne got up and put her hands on her hips and then across her chest. “Conrad, either you put that on now or so help me I will dress you myself. And I promise I will NOT be gentle about it.” She was standing there in her costume looking like a Marilyn Monroe twin. Ecklie knew there was no way out of this. He was going to have to swallow this bitter pill.

Under his breath he started mumbling, “Willows, I’m going to get you good for this.”

“Did you say something?” Adrienne was starting to walk towards him.

“No no just trying to figure out how I’m gonna eat and drink in this damned thing. Where the fuck’s the zipper?

“Oh for chrisstakes Conrad, pull the tail from the top to the back, step in and I’ll put it together for you. It’s ‘Velcro’. Conrad was standing there in his boxer shorts and teeshirt. “Take your shoes OFF! You will not need any. Gods, I got to tell you everything. MOVE !!”

Conrad did as he was told vowing to himself ‘never again, never again’. Adrienne helped him in and pulled the back of the costume together and made sure the entire tail section matched up. She grabbed the head and handed it to him. Again he wasn’t moving fast enough for her. She was getting ready to jam it on his head when he grabbed it and put it on.

“Fine now, turn around so I can see you. Well, you can see out the mouth piece right? Well, I don’t think you will be driving. I don’t think you will fit behind the wheel.”

Conrad looked into the full length mirror, and started thinking of ways to kill Catherine Willows. Only problem was, it was hard thinking of killing when “Barney” is looking back at you.

************

Doc Albert Robbins and his wife had a hard time coming up with something to wear at the party. Neither of them were the party type, but this was a nice evening out for a change and they decided to have some fun. All of their friends saw them as the all American couple. Steadfast, still happy married after some 30 years. So they decided to go with that. Their was a joint costume. They had to come up with something that would work with Doc’s crutches so. When Mary suggested the ‘American Gothic’ painting, Al jumped at it. Mary had a aluminum foil pitchfork prongs which she attached to the crutches. She pulled her hair back into a bun, wore an old dress. Doc put on a shirt, jeans and his wire frame glasses. Still didn’t quite look right.

“Ah it’s the beard. That’s what doing it. Maybe I should just shave it off. It will grow back soon enough.” Doc was standing by the sink in the bathroom, stoking his face.

Mary popped around the corner from the bedroom. “What did you say?” She had her hands on her hips. “Like hell you will. I happen to love your beard. Don’t even think of it.” Her hands went across her chest. “No way, Albert.”

He leaned over and started to nuzzle her neck. “Ah you dirty old lady. You just like the way it tickles. Don’t ya? Come on admit it!” He started getting little playful.

“Albert, we’re gonna be late. Stop!” She was laughing like a school girl. “Albert!”

“Ah Mary. What would I do without ya?” He gave her a nosie smooch and finished getting ready. “Besides, I’m off for the next three days. So we got plenty of time to let the paint dry on this old painting.” As Mary turned to walk over to the door, Albert grabbed her butt and gave it a squeeze. “Yes, my favorite melons just about ripe for the picking.”

“Albert! Farmers are known for being in bed early. So get a move on. Or we’ll be late.”

“I’m hoping to be in bed early! No complaints here.” He winked at his sweet wife.

****************

Sara Sidle thought Catherine’s idea of a Halloween party a waste of time.

“Another couple of hours for a good lecture or two wasted. On a stupid Halloween party. Well, you can count me out.” She was telling Grissom. She was standing there with her hands on her hips. They quickly moved to her chest and folded, when Grissom informed her that if he had to go SHE had to go. “Well, do we HAVE to dress up? That’s so so childish.” Her nose curled up at the thought.

Grissom informed her, she would HAVE to find something to wear. He didn’t care what it was but something. Sara racked her brains out for days trying to come up with something. Finally, Greg gave her the address of several costume stores in Las Vegas. She went to just about all of them. All with the same results. “Too late. Nothing was left or it was too small, she would need another person, something. Finally at the last store, one costume fit. She wasn’t to happy but...there was little time and no choice.

She got dressed and headed for the party. On the way, she started thinking. Maybe this isn’t too bad. Grissom hasn’t mentioned bringing anyone. I sure don’t have a date. I wonder what costume he’s going to wear? Shoots, I should have asked him earlier so I could come as something to match him. He could be Romeo and I could have come as Juliet. Or Dr and Madam Curie. That would have been nice. Then again, this is a bug costume. The man said it was a ‘ladybug’ sure as hell looks more like a roach to me. Well, either way, I gotta get this over with. At least I’ll be sitting next to Grissom. He’s not bringing anyone. I don’t think anyone is.

*****************

Horatio Caine came in from Miami, Florida for the seminar. He wasn’t too happy to be here, but knew some things were required with the job. He and one of the hosts, Gil Grissom, never quite saw eye to eye on things, but he had to admit, he learned a lot from Grissom’s lectures. He had enjoyed himself all week, but he did miss the smell of beach and the swamps, and the lack of humidity was drying everything out. He was just more comfortable with it being damp rather then dry all the time.

A gentle knock on the door made him stop daydreaming. He walked over to the door and opened it to reveal his colleague Yelina Salas standing there.

“My God, Yelina. You look simply amazing. Simply amazing.” He was standing there with the door still in his hand.

“Are you ready or should I go back and wait?” Yelina stood there looking every inch the sexy siren of a tango dancer. The tight fitted dress flared out at the hips and revealed a split thru which a long tanned leg stood ready to come on and tantalize the dance floor. She was in flame red, and could have set any man on fire with one smoldering look. “Well, my my Rhett Butler, I do hope you ‘give a damn’ tonight. You look really nice in that, but you do need the jacket. And where is your mustache? Do you need me to pencil it in for you?” She came into his room, with long strides showing off her legs.

“That would be nice. That would be nice.” He handed her an eyebrow pencil he had borrowed from her earlier, he walked over to the sink with the well lit mirror and sat on the chair waiting for her to finish his costume. “Think maybe we could show them a few salsa moves tonight?”

“I certainly have plans to do something night. Dancing might be one of them. I haven’t danced since Ray and I....” Her voice trailed off. She had a far away look in her eyes.

“Yelina, I’m here. I’m here. Ray isn’t.” He gently put a hand on her’s. “It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s time to have some fun. Ray would approve of you going on with your life.”

She smiled and finished penciling in his mustache. “There we go. Honestly, I don’t see how Scarlett O’Hara could not be moved by Rhett Butler. She sure must have had her pantaloons in a bunch. Put your coat on so I can see the whole package. I don’t want to be too late.” She held out his jacket for him to slip on.

“Thank you. Thank you. Well, look ok?” He picked up the white felt hat and twirled it in his hands. “Shall we Ma’am?” He bowed at the waist .

Yelina put her hands on her hips. “Good Lord you are going to be something tonight I can see it now.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “Now don’t think anyone but me for that last dance. No one but me. Promise?” She smiled warmly.

“A gentleman ALWAYS keeps his promises. Always.” He offered her his arm and they walked out to find the other members of their party.

**********************


Calleigh Duquesne really didn’t have much of a problem figuring out what she was going to the party as. She had kept her ‘working’ clothes from college. All during the summer months and holidays, she worked at a Southern Plantation as a hostess. She kept her Southern Belle gown and used it at every opportunity. She didn’t dress up too often and she missed it. She was checking herself in the mirror when a knock was heard at her door. “Who is it?”

“Hey Cally it’s me. Open up.” On the other side stood Eric Delko. He was dressed in skin tight satin pants and a satin shirt opened all the way down to where the tire meets the road. “You ready? He stood there smiling from ear to ear. “I’m ready for some serious dancing on the floor.”

“Who are you suppose to be? This is a costume party. It’s Halloween, not your normal Friday night date.” She stood there with her hands on her hips and then moved them across her chest. “You were suppose to bring a costume!”

“This is a costume, I’m a Latino Lover. Kinda the real me, don’t you think?” He walked to Cally and dipped her backwards. “I can sweep you across the dance floor or off your feet. Which would you like my dear?”

“Oh Delko, you nut. Gees. Let me go I’m not quite ready. I need to put my shoes on. Only thing is darn hoops I can’t see my feet.”

“Ah a damsel in distress! Her Latino Lover comes to the rescue. Wait, this is backwards, I should be taking your shoes off not putting them on.” He started laughing as Cally’s foot gave him a shove on his shoulder. “Hey don’t kill your lover before the evening’s over!”

**************


Mac Taylor wasn’t looking forward to this any more than he was when he was told he HAD to go. The Commissioner of NYPD said he was to go and that was final. So for the past week, he did what he had to. He spend little time around the pool, if any. He didn’t take in any sites, nor did he go to a show or gamble. If he wasn’t at a seminar, he was reading material gathered from the ones he couldn’t get to. He finished putting on his jacket. He was still able to wear his Marine uniform after all these years. Still had all the medals he had won on the jacket pocket. This would pass for a ‘costume’ and make everyone happy. He would stay just long enough to have dinner and head back to his room. A knock at the door stopped his priming. He walked over to the door and opened it. “Hey Stella! Come on in.” He stood back and let her pass. “What are you supposed to be a doctor? You brought one of the lab coats. Good thinking.”

Stella Bonasera stood in the room and admired Mac’s uniform. “Still fits? Only ‘a few good men’ can say that and mean it. I couldn’t think of anything to come as. Then I remembered this tv show about a vetenary hospital. So I figured....stuffed dog, white coat. No mess no fuss. Cut and dried. Works for me.”

She looked around the room and noticed all the papers and items from the seminar scattered across the extra bed. “Are you planning on coming back right after dinner?” She put her hands on her hips. “You better think again. We are in Las Vegas.” Her hands folded across her chest. “No two ways about it, tonight we are going to have fun. You are going to laugh. I haven’t seen you laugh since...since..”

“Since September 10, 2001. I know Stella, I know.” They stood there staring at one another.
“I’m trying, really I am. Just not that easy.”

“All you need to do is take those first baby steps. The rest comes later. Come on let’s go to dinner.” She took him by the arm and aimed him for the door.

****************

Abby Sciuto was putting in all the pierces she normally kept under wraps while working at the Naval CSI Headquarters in Maryland. Most people shuddered when seeing multiple piercings. She just didn’t understand why they didn’t think them as cool. The tv was on a punk rock station and she was dancing around the room. The volume was at a deafening level. She was dressed all in black from head to toe. White makeup and black lipstick with combat boots finished the ensomal. She had gelled her hair so it stood straight up in the hair. She was really to ‘par tee’. The knock came at the door. “Coming!” She ran to the door and yanked it open.

Jethro Gibbs was standing on the other side, his hands were at his ears. Damn where is that racket coming from? When Abby opened the door the noise became louder. “ABBY, DON”T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD ....” He walked into the room and turned off the tv. “Keep it to a dull roar?”

“Hey, I was listening to that! That’s a cool song! You know Gibbs, you really need to loosen up” She took a large swallow from the supersized Coke on the table. “Really, you need to have some F. U. N. Fun!” Her hands went to her hips. “And I think we can have some tonight, if you wanta try. Then again, I know you. You’ll wanta come back to the room, and go to bed early so we can be ready to leave in the morning. You’re just NO fun.” Her hands folded across her chest.

“Ah come on Abby. I’m fun. I’m loads of fun. Just ask any of my ex wives. They’ll tell ya. And that noise you were listening to is NOT music. It’s.....”

Another knock at the door. Abby bounced over and opened it to find Dr Donald Mallard. ‘”Ducky! Hey come on in. I’m trying to convince Gibbs to do some serious dancing tonight. Whata say? Who ARE you suppose to be anyway?”

“Really Abigail. Don’t you know. Ahhh, on second thought, you weren’t even born when this show was on American television. It was in 1964, I believe, and it was called “The Man From U.N.C.L.E”. And one of the characters was a man by the name of Illya Kurykin It was a wonderful spy. He was played by one David McCallum. And he...”

“Ducky, we really need to get moving and get downstairs. You can tell Abby on the way.”

“Really, Jethro! When you have something to say, we listen. Don’t you think.....”

“Ducky! Now, would be nice!” He held open the door. :”Abby what are you anyway?”

“I’m.....me. The ‘real’ me.” Abby looked at him like she couldn’t believe him. “So like, what is YOUR costume? Hey Gibbs? What are YOU?”

“Simple Abby, I’m a government worker, at a seminar.”

*********************



The room was packed as the out of towners found their seats. The emcee for the evening announced each of the hosts and their dates. Gil didn’t have any problems reading the lips or the faces when he and Lady Heather walked in. Women’s mouths dropped open and the men’s drooled. When Jim and Catherine walked into the room, heads turned. Catherine played her role as Bugsy’s showgirl girlfriend to the hilt. Women were taken a second glance at the rough and tumble Jim Brass. Wondering what someone like Catherine could see in him. What were they missing? Ummmm.

When Greggo walked in with two girls, well needless to say the word “damn” was heard quite often. Poor Warrick, his wig kept tipping which ever way he turned his head. He was getting tired of figuring out how to keep it in one spot. Mindy jokingly suggested to chew some gum and stick it. Unfortunely, Melody took it has a worthy suggestion and did just that. Much to the laughter and ‘whews’ of the whole table. Poor Ecklie and his date had to sit at the head table. The Commissioner had his seating assignment moved to the end of the table rather then in the center. He somehow had a hard time not laughing at Barney. Sara sat on the end next to Ecklie and an empty chair, making it painfully obvious she was without a date.

After the usual speeches and prizes for costumes were handed out it was time for the dancing to begin.

Lady Heather and Gil took to the dance floor when the music played was more ‘old fashion’ style of dancing. From the waltz to the two step and a tango here and there. They wowed the crowd at their fluid movements. Horatio and Yelinda did the same for the more passionate salsa. Delko and Calleigh tried to dance, but he kept insisting on dipping her, only to find themselves undercover from the hoop skirts. Much to the male crowds delight.

Jim showed Catherine and several other ladies, that he still knew how to “cut a rug”. Ecklies’s date had long disappeared waiting for him to get up and dance. He and Sara sat side by side not saying much for a half an hour. Finally they just looked at each other and exited the room together.

The valet was getting Sara’s truck, while the other valets were trying their damest not to laugh themselves silly. Finally the 4x4 pulled up. “Ecklie I don’t think you are going to fit in the cab. Your tail’s kinda big. Maybe you should just ride in the back. So what bar do you wanta hit first. Something tells me both of us could use a couple of good belts.”

Ecklie just looked at Sara and jammed the Barney head back on and crawled into the bed of the truck. “Sara I really don’t give a fuck, just drive me home. I’m in no mood for drinking with a roach.”

“It’s a ladybug! Not a.....oh hell forget it. Trust me I’m not thrilled to have Barney riding in my truck any more than you are being seen with a roach.”

The clock soon headed to the one am hour and the week had ended. The room cleared quickly after the band announced it’s last song. Some when back to their empty rooms, others to empty apartments. Some used their costumes to continue long into the night. Others found company with Jack Daniels.